You Are Strong.

Yesterday I was almost torn apart believing that I am not good enough. I felt weak, I felt that I lose up all my energy and my heart and soul weakens even more. I almost forget that I am a strong woman. Even though I am aware that I am a strong person, but my mind and sense couldn't prove me after. I know I've been through a lot, even worst things but why I couldn't get myself together?

I felt that I needed support. True, honest and not a bias one.

I posted a story on my Instagram for my close friends. I asked them to remind me why I'm a strong woman.

And one friend of mine said "You are given exactly what you need and what you can handle."

It came to a realization that I forget Allah's promise that was stated in the Qur'an,

"لَا يُكَلِّفُ ٱللَّهُ نَفْسًا إِلَّا وُسْعَهَا"

Allah does not burden a soul of what it can bear.

We are tested based on our ability,

based on the things that we can handle

Indeed, all of us are strong.

It's whether you want to believe it or not.

It's either you let yourself be strong or let your heart manipulate yourself into becoming weak and unwilling to grow, learn from all the struggles you've been through.

One of the ways for Allah to show us His abundance of love is by testing His creations.

Indeed, everything hurts, never sweet by our sight but all these are to pull us closer to Allah.

Remind yourself.

Please remind yourself that you are capable of anything.

Regardless of the dark past you've went through, of all the failures and people around you that  demoralizes you, never forget to remind yourself that you are even stronger.

Explore that strength in you and you'll never know where it can lead you to.

Love,

Aiman.

Submit

I am your servant
In need of your comfort
I came physically alone
Without anyone's
Knowledge about my grief
I can woe
I can blow
I can break more glasses
I can break more mirrors
But I am your servant.
Returning,
Submitting
My lowly self
To the Al-Afuww [العفو]
The Supreme Pardoner
The forgiver,
The one with wide forgiveness

Oh Allah
Indeed everything is written down with wisdom.
Even so how Musa a.s likes to question Khidir a.s and has broken his rule, but everything will remain untold unless You reveal it to us.

Oh my lord,
"if you found me drawing away from you, pull me closer as the best way as possible."

والله اعلم

A great team is a great leader

As the heavy rain pours
Thunders breaking down branches
Breaking it into two
Breaking the bond and separating two
Two of which was once
An army of ants

That gap was a frail
that weakens the team
Tears started to fall
creating an ill will
Blaming one by one
One was too slow
One was too fast
and one was too bossy

Just because of that one gap
Just because of that one time
the only time that they've been tested
The storming period,
they went into dispute.

But then again it only happens to humans and not ants
who depends too much on their feelings.

The sergeant reminded them about the Queen
That is in need
of honey
in order to be happy
And happiness to them
is a happy Queen among them

They began to perform
and form
the strongest bond
the bridge that was donned
slowly every soldier get to one side
creating a big pride

All was happy and got back to the nest
All had a good rest
because they made the Queen smile
The Queen that managed her army well.

She shared the sweet treat with everyone
When the sergeant reported about the rain and dispute
to congratulate everyone as a recognition
for putting in the great effort
despite the strife

Indeed it was a victory
They toast and cheers the honey
Leaving a big belly.

- Ummu Aiman

I tend to..

I tend to forget
That we're from different worlds.
I tend to forget
That we're living in different environment.
I tend to hope that we could have the same beliefs.
I tend to forget that we have different purposes.
And I tend to worry that it couldn't work.
That instead changes the focus.
That instead pushes everything that seems negative to his human eye.
Instead leaving the truth behind
I pray that balance reaches you.
The perfect balance.
May Allah guide us all always
Ameen.

I am a changed woman and I am proud of it.

Change.
Scary and risky.
It is sacrificing whatever you had and turning some switches.
Some will remain on and some will be off forever. But the switches will still be there and triggering you to turn it on anytime at any cause.
It is tough to constantly remind yourself the reason why you changed.
It's never easy to change and the process is a lot to take in. Sometimes it includes sacrificing your interest for another interest. Well you have to learn that you can't always get everything you want in one go. Its either A or B. Or C or D. And the list goes on. We are just humans with only 2 feets, 2 hands and 2 eyes to only accomplish one thing at a time.
And I am happy that I took the change. Cos it shows how strong I am to to let go of what matters to me for something that is even better.

After all, we need to crave for the everlasting hereafter. Let's remind ourselves that.
And live life everyday as its going to be your last. You'll be happy or even happier cos you had a purpose to do for your own benefit and others. Most importantly you sacrifice for the love of the last messenger and Allah.

Life is never going to be easy, nor always be sweet.
Learn to sacrifice for the sake of Allah
Go back to Him always and He will come protecting you.
Granting you even a thousand times more.

Figuratively Alone

You know..
I've always thought that I'll be
All alone afterall
Not everyone will understand
And support you.
Not everyone will believe in you
And all that made me feel that
I am here all alone afterall
To support myself

Sometimes your loved ones has never knew the real you
Instead they only noticed your flaws and failures.
Some don't even see your efforts
But instead judge you based on your outcomes

But all that made me realize that
I only have myself to pull myself back up.

Never ever drown in anyone's judgement.
Cos they never go through what you've went through.
Never let their words define who you really are.
Coz you are the one living your life.
You are the one who is putting in the work.
And going through the parts and parcel.

Let them see
But never swallow their reckless words.
Sometimes all you wanted was them to support and understand who you really are.
But ain't that easy

I have always believed and knew
That my Lord has only understood who I truly am.
And with that is sufficient
Cos with His remembrance is complete
And only Him that we need

And never forget
Only The All Mighty who let us move forward
Towards a new
And better things

Keep on praying
Have hope and trust
And most importantly صبر
Because everything has to go through a process.

كل خير ان شاء الله
امين

Our nature our battle

Everything happens for a reason
Yet every reason is left hanging
and you will never find the exact reason
for every happiness and sadness that you're facing

Indeed life is full of secrets
Behind every secret lies a deep wisdom

Indeed all of us are created ungrateful
and that's our nature
and it is certain
that we like to worry
and that's our nature

and we would be sorry
and wrap ourselves in isolation
hoping nothing will disappear in our worry
kept blaming for ourselves and the reality

But never forget
that the All Mighty
has created us in the best format
the luckiest creation among all His creations

with that, He reminds us
about the blessings
He bestowed upon us
to show love towards His creations
with that, He eases us
after every hardships
to show His mercy towards His creations

Never forget
the One
the only One that loves you
despite your weaknesses
your disobedience
your recklessness
your ungratefulness
despite all that
He still has His arms widely open for you

He granted you the whole world
and gives you the authority in this Dunya
He created you perfect to witness His blessings in this Dunya

Subhanallah
Wal hamdulillah
Wa Allahuakbar

MashaAllah Ya Robb
Forgive me Ya Robb

As I am a sinner
never the winner
I tend to run
run away from my responsibilities
and I bend
Bend all from the realities
even though that I was informed
In the Book that was formed
that there are more to yearn in the paradise
but I follow what my heart desires

Indeed everything's a test
and it brings me back to realization
that I am just a tiny creation
who's just a slave of Yours

Ya Allah
I seek and beg for repentance
cos I know
You will always be in my presence
Protect us all ya Robb
from all the fitnah this world could offer
Protect my mother and father
my sisters and brothers
my loved ones
because all of us are fighters
Fighting our own battle
sometimes we rattle
but protect us from all the hassle

Cos the world
is our Jihad.

الله أكبر

الله أكبر

الله أكبر

"وَالَّذِينَ جَاهَدُوا فِينَا لَنَهْدِيَنَّهُمْ سُبُلَنَا ۚ وَإِنَّ اللَّهَ لَمَعَ الْمُحْسِنِينَ"

رَبَّنَا آتِنَا فِي الدُّنْيَا حَسَنَةً وَفِي الآخِرَةِ حَسَنَةً وَقِنَا عَذَابَ النَّارِ

God is with me

بسم الله الرحمان الرحيم

 I will always remember that My Lord will come running to me whenever I seek for His guidance.
And that's His beauty.
His love towards us is beyond anything or anyone in this world.
His Mercy and Rahmah cannot be challenged with anything in this world and the whole universe. The way He sends us His love the way He tests us to guide us is
how He love us and whenever His creations sins, He will still grant mercy whenever we come back begging for forgiveness. And He is the only one who understands and knows more about us than anyone else.

Allahu akbar

Ya Allah.
I know that you are telling me something. I know that you are teaching me something. But I don't know what you are trying to tell me.
But what I know is that everything from You is for the best of me.
Everything that's going to happen comes from the best planner, the creator of the whole world and universe.

But one thing I am asking from you now is to get rid of this feeling. The feeling of uncertainty, the negativity in my mind and everything that is affecting my faith towards you.

Ya Rohman,
Only you who understands my feelings and thoughts. Knows every single thing about me and deep down inside me.

Ya Ghafoor,
You are the only one who understands me without me explaining about myself.
My Lord you are the greatest and the most loving and caring.
I'm seeking your comfort as your slave now is not at her best. But I know you are here always with me.

Make me a stronger woman. So that I can support other woman out there who may be secretly suffering. Make me a stronger woman so that i can nurture and guide the future khalifah and muslim generation. Make me a stronger woman because i am not strong without you ya Robby. Your guidance is always needed because I am nothing without You.
And everything with You

الحمد لله على نعمه